The second lucky 7 of the 13 Councils of Communication in Negotiation

Communication is the stage upon which the drama is played out negotiation. Listening and speaking are the literal nuts and bolts of communication, but they are accompanied by the more mysterious of the figurative language of the body and an open mind. Mastery of both figurative and literal is essential to negotiate effectively. The open mind wearing a gold mine of techniques that are beyond the scope of our brothers closed minded.

Communication is the stage upon which the drama is played out negotiation. Listening and speaking are the literal nuts and bolts of communication. Here are the second seven tips on how to communicate better in negotiations.

Reflective 7 ----- Response

This technique recognizes that two or more people can hear the same words and lead to different conclusions from what has been said. If you do not think it is possible for two people to hear the same words, to know the meanings of individual words, but come to very different conclusions, see someone who has been married for a second opinion.

Not only the individual words have different meanings, but the usage varies, some people speak evil and our prejudices get in the way on clear communication. If someone says OJ, the response should include the words orange juice. If it meant OJ Simpson, the reflexive response would be clear that before you have any further down the field. The use of reflective response in tandem with the rise of 'I' are some of the techniques of negotiation more abundant and powerful you will deploy.

We can sometimes be confused with the tone of voice or the individual styles of delivery. For this reason, it is advisable to question the speaker on the intent rather than give our meaning. For example, suppose someone says, "Well, this is just fantastic." The literal meaning could be or could be the other sarcastically. The tone can be used by the speaker to indicate frustration, disgust, anger, pride, or other findings. These statements require open-ended questions by the listener. Fortunately, the words of our verbal leave clues of meaning independent of the tone of the speaker.

Verbal clues are unexpectedly. Let's take them in the same staccato style that is likely to meet them. Keep your ears attuned to these words, when you open the negotiations, because they usually indicate important meanings or information is worth pursuing.

8 ----- 'but'

The 'but' word is a rubber minutes of everything that comes before. How many times have you heard intruders with the excuse to skip the preface, "I am no expert on the subject, but" ... What is the next sentence from the mouth to proclaim to the world of probability of that person? He is ready to show what an expert really is, regardless of qualifications. As my father used to say: "Why spoil a good argument with the facts?"

The use of 'but' can also send the other side ran for arms to counter attack this new revelation. We can clean up our act by replacing 'and' instead of 'but'. "I'm not an expert in negotiation and here I am negotiating with you, so please help me." Instead of connoting challenge or adulation with the 'but' the word, we have increased dramatically lowered the level of conflict.

9 ----- "I'm sorry '

Be alert for these words of apology. Why anyone should apologize in advance for what they are saying? The effect of the phrase 'I'm sorry' is to delete all the words that trivialize the words that come after it. It trivializes the content to the extent that it can be ignored. If the seller says: "I'm sorry. Our policy does not allow returns," he expressed agreement with the half hearted political connotations air of weakness and invited further investigation. Reserve the word 'sorry' for errors.

10 ----- Changes in the way of speaking

Train your ears to perk up when someone speeds up, slows down, it repeats a question other than what was requested, or otherwise change their way of speaking responses. These departures from the usual betray a loss of balance that leads to exploration.

When a speaker speeds, may be unconsciously trying to go beyond the critical point. If whistling past the cemetery, perhaps you will have no fear.

Sunday morning television news programs serve a gold mine of suspicious patterns of speech. Every politician knows the value of the office is to respond to what they mean, no matter the issue. It 's a way to get the message, stay consistent, and avoid the traps off script. Unless you are negotiating for public office, this winding path can not be the best. Facing the political negotiator, the same question in different words to eliminate any misunderstanding honest. Suppose, for example, that you ask your spouse, what time is dinner? "In response, we hear:" Well, I put the roast in the four and a half. "This is an honest mistake caused by answering a different question from what was asked.

Get near closed questions to improve the accuracy. Maybe put the 'e' instead of 'but' the word to clarify and understand the answer too reflective, as in this sentence. "And you expect that roast will be ready in about that now?" Have reduced the funnel a little 'without creating unnecessary friction. As a last resort, to explain the frustration and ask for help. If you receive any, your suspicions are confirmed. Often, depending on the personality of the individual, a seller may not want to answer a question on the head for fear of offending someone, betraying the trust, or general insecurity.

11 ----- Announcer statements

Announcer statements include a series of introductory remarks intended to influence the other side for the desired effect. Off the cuff comparable terminology "By the way", or "How do you know" sometimes inadvertently introduce important information or a decoy.

The preface, "To be honest with you," deserves special attention. On its face, the phrase is ridiculous. And 'the speaker confessing dishonesty up to this point? This is probably not the intention, but it could be the message received. Should warn the listener that the information following is probably significant.

The use of repetition is another alarm annunciator. Politicians repeat for emphasis, or perhaps because they expect people not to listen so they will not notice the repetition. Constant repetition, however, may be an indication of the importance of the point repeatedly. It could simply be a defect in the ability to negotiate. In any case, bears clarification.

12 ----- Avoid the pronouns

Is there anything more subject to confusion that excessive use of pronouns? They (referring to pronouns) are not too specific. The pronouns 'he', 'her', 'us' and 'them' are strong enough, but 'it' comes in for special scrutiny. A description that goes on for more than three sentences need to reconfirm the identity of nouns to be replaced by pronouns. Any more than one male in a story and the use of 'he' becomes annoying. Because 'it' covers almost the whole of creation, the problem pronoun (it, namely the problem pronoun) can not be overstated.

At home, I live with a wife, two daughters and a cat, all female. With their backs to the crowd, I hear, "you saw how she got her?" Huh? Unless the house is on fire, I tune out all the static noise rather than trying to unravel the pronoun references.

13 ----- Differentiate observation from the conclusion

This error of logic has to be one of the most common problems for family celebrations. If someone offers an observation, not to impute its conclusion. It may not coincide with them. If the seller says: "We can not sell at that price," which is just an observation. To furnish our own conclusion is incorrect. We can not summarily conclude that the price is too low. It could mean their costs are too high, or who have other control factors that are not disclosed. Clarify the conclusion, he quickly what conclusion to draw. If the person is challenged by direct questions, use the reflexive response and restate the observation. Then, with the affirmation of 'I', asking the conclusion. The speech could be like this. "So if I understand the statement that the price is not available. It is true up to now?" If you hear a no, investigate with open end questions. If the answer is yes, the test for the conclusion might be: "So I'm clear, is the conclusion that the price is too low to cover the costs?" ...